


If you killed yourself, a stranger would cry.

by arfrid



Series: A deathbed, a friend, the good, the end. [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Dark, Friendship, Gen, I just made this and it turned dark okay, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Smoking, very dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26107573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arfrid/pseuds/arfrid
Summary: “Do you ever want to just… off yourself? I mean, I’ve had multiple near-death experiences – don’t ask – and now it just feels… I don’t know… Insignificant to lose your own life, you know what I mean?”Max pulled out two cigarettes from her pocket, then extracted a lighter from her other pocket.“Want one?” She asked, holding one out for him to grab. He looked at it cautiously.“Isn’t it illegal?” He asked, regarding it warily. She shrugged.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Maxine "Max" Mayfield
Series: A deathbed, a friend, the good, the end. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1897063
Kudos: 15





	If you killed yourself, a stranger would cry.

**Author's Note:**

> ngl i just wanted a fic where Max says "Ever wanted to off yourself?" for no reason whatsoever lol
> 
> darker than my usual ones

Max walked across the street. She had her black hoodie on, with the hood over her head. She just felt like she wanted to just, fall asleep in some random spot. She had no idea why, she just did, so she walked to a building site nearby.

It was abandoned, but there were cargo boxes and everything else around, so she jumped up on one, and stepped into the one above that one. There she saw a boy with tidy hair and two fanny packs. He also had a hoodie, probably because it was fairly cold, but it was a violent shade of red, zipped up, and the hood wasn’t up.

Deciding to talk to the random kid, she sat down next to him. He gave her a startled look, but didn’t protest.

“Sup.” She said. “Max.” She offered her hand and the boy took a plastic glove out, but then seemed to think better of it and shook her hand. Was he one of those intense germaphobe people? If so, she was going to skedaddle.

“Eddie.” He said. “Eddie Kaspbrak.”

“Oh, should I say my last name too?” She asked. He shrugged.

“If you want.” He told her.

“Max Mayfield.” She said, looking up at the logo of the cargo box.

There was an awkward silence. They didn’t bother to break it, though they both obviously wanted to.

She decided to break it, eventually.

“What’s up with the, uh, gloves?” She asked, hoping she’s not being too nosy. “And the double fanny pack?”

Eddie shifted uncomfortably, and Max quickly added, “Unless you don’t want to talk about it. I’d understand.”

Eddie sighed. “You know, it’d be great to you know, tell someone, without it being the Losers.”

Max laughed. A full-on laugh. God, she hadn’t laughed since…

No, she didn’t want to think about that.

“The Losers?” She asked, managing to keep her laughter under control. Eddie chuckled nervously.

“Yeah. It’s our group. The Losers’ Club. Outcasts, basically. Stan, my friend is bullied for being Jewish, Mike is bullied for being black, Richie… I honestly don’t know. He’s like, the odd one out.” Eddie admits.

“Group of outcasts, weirdos… yeah, sounds like my group.” Max deduced. It was weird to hear ‘Mike’ without imagining her scruffy-haired frenemy. “We call ourselves the Party, because it all started with D&D and stuff. I actually have a Mike in _my_ party, but he was a bit of an asshole to me when I first joined it. He’s kind of my frenemy now.”

Eddie laughed a bit, and for some reason, it made her feel better to know she’s making someone else smile. She felt herself smile too.

“Anyways, the gloves are from my mom...” He said, trailing off slightly. “…I don’t like her. She’s a helicopter parent who made me believe I had a million diseases so I she could control every think I did.”

Max whistled. “Wow, Mrs. K really doesn’t want her son to talk to girls, huh?”

They both laughed at that longer than they should have. When they stopped, Eddie turned to her.

“What about you? Why are you up here?” He asked. She stiffened slightly, trying to remember what story the Lab had made on the newspaper.

“Don’t know if you’ve heard, but, uh, Hawkins had a little accident in the mall.” She said. She snorted at the words ‘Little Problem’. It was one hell of an understatement. Eddie nodded. “Well, my step-brother died in that accident. Died trying to protect my friends.”

She didn’t look at him. She felt tears collect in her eyes. God, when did start crying in front of strangers?

She kept the tears in, not wanting to scare Eddie off.

“I’m sorry.” He said, putting his hand on hers. She felt herself blush unwillingly. She didn’t know whether it was from embarrassment or…

No, fuck, she had a boyfriend, and she loved him.

“Hey, I’m… not okay.” She finally cleared up her mind. She wanted to tell him everything. From the stress of keeping the Upside-Down and El a secret to Billy’s cause of death. “Look, this is going to sound like a weird question. Promise you won’t judge?”

“Shoot.” He told her.

“Do you ever want to just… off yourself?” She says. He looks at her, startled. “I mean, I’ve had multiple near-death experiences – don’t ask – and now it just feels… I don’t know… Insignificant to lose your own life, you know what I mean?”

She groaned. He probably thought she was crazy. Of course he didn’t know how she felt, the only people who did was her friends, and she didn’t want to talk to them at the moment.

Before she can apologize for her bullshit and leave before he called the cops, he said, “Yeah. I do. I’ve had a few near-death experiences that I’ve shared with the rest of the Losers Club. It just feels like, you just want to stop for a second, and then…”

He mimed an explosion with his hands. “Poof. You start thinking about doing it.”

Max looked at him, impressed. “Yeah. That’s actually, spot on. I’m impressed. And you can’t often do that with Max Mayfield.”

They smiled at each other, and for the second, all the guilt and stress building up vanished. They got up, and Max hugged him. He hugged back, at first awkwardly, but then happily, eagerly.

They broke apart and stared at each other uncomfortably for a second, before Max pulled out two cigarettes from her pocket, then extracted a lighter from her other pocket.

“Want one?” She asked, holding one out for him to grab. He looked at it cautiously.

“Isn’t it illegal?” He asked, regarding it warily. She shrugged.

“It’s illegal to _buy_ it if you’re younger than 18, but my step-brother bought this and I stole it, so no harm done.” She said, then she added, “Besides, it’s not like anyone’s gonna spot us here.”

Eddie nodded, smiling, and accepted it. They sat by the side, with their legs dangling of the edge.

For the first time in 3 excruciating weeks, she felt happy again.


End file.
